Quality & Equality

What can I say? Since the 4th week update, there have been lots of ups and downs that continue to test my ability to persevere. There has been so much going on, I was not able to do the 6th week update. Apologies!

First of all, let me report some of the “down/tough” moments in the last three weeks (even though they have all now been resolved).

1. I have had an infection for over two weeks – with a tight chest and sometimes shortness of breath, a bad cough, sore throats, runny nose….etc. As I shared before, any infection at this early stage is bad news for transplant patients. So I was put on antibiotics. After a week, most of the symptoms were slowly disappearing. But the challenging news is that from now on, according to the team, any infection I have will take up to 4 months to clear even after it is “arrested”, because of the low count of white blood cells.
2. Last week, the team phoned me to say that my last blood test showed my creatinine levels had gone up and would I go back for further blood tests to check what was going on. An abnormal creatinine level is the most vital sign of the new kidney being rejected. My heart skipped a few beats. I went back for further blood tests, and at first they asked me to stay and wait for the result. I asked why? They said in case they needed to put me back in the transplant unit and put a drip in me. (NO, please!!) But since the wait was too long, I was finally allowed to go home and thank goodness when the doctor phoned few hours later, he reported that the creatinine level had dropped a bit, and they would let me have a good weekend and without bringing me back to the hospital. (Hurray!!) Since then I have had one more blood test and the creatinine level has gone back down. Such a relief.
3. The third blip was on Sunday when I found quite a lot of blood in my urine – another scary thing as it may be caused by internal bleeding. I phoned the hospital as Stuart was away for the weekend attending his university reunion. But they asked me to drink lots of water to see whether that would clear it. I forced down 2 litres of water and it cleared. (Mystery?)
4. The fourth blip was that the anti-rejection drugs marking is now too high – meaning it has reached its toxic level (and will be toxic to the kidney). The consultant, having read the markings in two rounds of blood tests, immediately lowered the dose that I have to take.
5. The final news is that this Friday (13th May) I will have minor surgery to remove two stents from the joint between the new kidney and the bladder. It should be a simple operation; the minor risk is internal bleeding which would mean staying in the hospital. Let’s hope that it will stay as a day surgery. (Think positive thoughts…)

The above four blips managed to sap my physical energy so much that I have to revert back to being Mrs Bennett. It was frustrating for me, but in the bigger scheme of things, I have to remind myself that after all they are just part and parcel of this recovery journey.

I must admit that these blips have been scary, but my emotional insecurity reminded me to adjust my expectations once again. With a major invasive surgery plus a daily heavy intervention of drugs, these blips are bound to be an inherent part of the journey. I should expect them to happen and I should also have the trust that with the transplant team being so vigilant I will be well cared for. Whatever blips come my way, hopefully there will always be a way out. Even if the worst happens, I am sure I will be given the strength to face it.
Yesterday I was so inspired by a good friend of mine whose husband is going through a transplant that carries a much higher risk. We have been texting each other to support one another in the past few weeks. In the beginning everything looked good with the transplant and the medical team was pleased with his result. And then the blood count started dropping and it looks like the grafting has not been successful. They are now waiting for the verdict this weekend. She described her experience in the following vivid way (not an exact quote), which is very helpful because when she captured her experience, she captured mine also: “Mee Yan, as you know the whole experience is like being in a unfamiliar country going down an unfamiliar road; at first the terrain looks good and manageable but then all of a sudden the manageable terrain stops and you come face to face with a sheer rock face and a great chasm. It is important in such circumstances to retain a sense of proportion and a sense of optimism – even though I found it very hard to do.” How true and applicable that is to all life circumstances as we face constant changes in our lives. My take away from my friend’s sentiment is that our mental model matters – it will either keep us going or make us collapse in a heap, even though the latter is inevitable in this type of situation.

Second, it is important in a time like this that I do not forget what is good in my life. I would like to count my blessings with you, as they are all are very encouraging to me and my family:

1. Since my consultant told me to get out of bed, I have been walking 4 times a week – each for 45 minutes to an hour, even during the weeks when I have had the infection. Some days it was a challenge, but most days I enjoyed myself and felt proud of myself. The most helpful factor is Rebekah who has determined that, instead of walking the dogs, she will walk mum. After all, having a bullying child sometimes has some advantages.
2. Despite the blip of rising creatinine, all the vital trends show that Gilbert (the name of my new kidney) is snuggling well inside me. This Monday, my own renal consultant of 15 years told me – “while life can continue to be precarious, overall I declare the transplant is a success.” (So, so grateful!)
3. The post transplant clinic team continue to be excellent; they watch over every blood test and call me at home if something is not right. They make me feel very secure as they do not let anything slip through their fingers. (In this intensive cost cutting time, the core (heart) of the NHS is still fulfilling their vital call to heal – and for that, all of us should be very grateful.) Then as I go to more clinics, I get to meet more of the personnel; I have found them amazing. One particular nurse is so funny and reassuring that I manage to always leave her clinic laughing. When I told her Stuart is a bit fed up with me in tears all the time she said, “tell him he should be grateful that he is not the husband of my other transplant patient, who has turned from a mild and meek woman to such an irritable person that one day when her husband did not do the ironing right, she threw the iron at her husband.” When I told Stuart this, he said “thank goodness in 29 years, I have never seen you use an iron ever!!!” (Oops! The secret is out about what a domestic goddess I am NOT!)
4. I was allowed to drive for the first time last week (after a 6th week ban) and that is great because I now can venture out by myself. Not that I have actually done it yet, but just having the thought liberated me. Thinking possibility thoughts can change our mood (as all the Appreciative Inquiry colleagues will tell us).
5. I have eaten out twice now, once on 7th May – a birthday breakfast for Stuart, and the second time yesterday (10th May) as I can no longer bear not having Thai food – especially the soup and Pad Thai. This was permitted by my consultant who said it was fine as long as I told the restaurant to cook the food thoroughly. This again is so wonderful.
6. Talking about food, I now have managed to eat most of the foodstuffs that have been forbidden to me for over 3 years – peanut butter (I love a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, don’t you? As I am part American!!), avocado, prawns, lobsters, oranges, cheese, eggs, milk…..the list goes on. So the song that Ruth and Rebekah made up for me on the night of admission is coming true. I am a true Chinese (Asian) who live because of food (as opposed to the Brits who eat in order to live). Diversity of culture!!!
7. I also managed to summon sufficient energy to tackle my study which has not been “dealt with” for over 10 years with obsolete books and paper jamming every corner. I gave Oxfam close to 200 novels and another institution over 200 books; I sorted 3 boxes of reusable paper and took another 4 boxes of paper to the recycling bin. I am only 60 % done but I imagine there is nothing more liberating than de-cluttering our “jammed packed” life – material wise, time wise, commitment wise. Clearing the study and enjoying time under the duvet are symbolic of my effort to de-clutter my jammed packed life. For those of you who can keep your study up-to-date and tidy, would you give us some tips as to what we need to do in order to keep our messy study in order?
8. Finally, my consultant told me I can ease back into work from June on as long as it is not to a packed Monday to Friday diary. So with this permission, I am slowly going to do things. He also said I can most probably fly from autumn on as long as the blood results stay in the same trend.
9. The good news is that Alix is well enough to leave Basal to fly to Rome to celebrate her mother’s birthday in Florence. She is growing in strength. I am so, so pleased for her. It looks like she will be well enough to take a round the world trip to mark her husband’s retirement in July. This is all good news.
10. My family continue to tolerate my moodiness – a dominant side effect from the few anti-rejection drugs that I will have to take for life. I am worry that these side effects will continue and not lessen as time passes. (But better not to pile worries upon future fear – as my friend said – must keep things in perspective.)

So all of the above is great news, and I am very thankful for the goodness that I have experienced. I will do one more medical update and then hopefully life will be back to normal.

Final Reflection – the “I” and “we” and “us” – the intertwining of people

During this recovery period, I have been blessed by so many of you who sent me lovely cards and flowers. I been blessed by a group of loving women who set up a rota to take turns to cook for my family and me, and who regularly drop by whether I want to see them or not; I am blessed by Rebekah’s godmother who comes to cook yummy Chinese food for us once a week despite her busy schedule; I am blessed by my own family who take great care of me, including my extended family, e.g. two of my nieces parked their 5 children with someone else and came to Oxford with bags of groceries and did couple of hours of marathon cooking and managed to fill my freezer; another niece sent me the whole series of “Brothers and Sisters”, and my nephew sent me “The Wire” (which should I get stuck in to first – family complex dynamics or scary 18 rated stuff?) Thanks to them and other friends who loan me endless DVDs I now have sufficient entertainment for the rest of the year. The continuous support of friends from near and far has touched my spirit deeply, and I am grateful to my staff and a colleague who keep the business running while I am watching house programmes. Finally I am grateful for the continuous tolerance of those good friends who keep phoning, texting and emailing without hearing back from me as they have accepted that I need to remain in my deeply introverted zone. Of course what else can I say about Alix’s sacrificial giving of her own kidney in order to give me a new lease of life? These are the people who understand the connectedness of humanity and chose to put their needs aside in order to cater for other needs.

Paul, (who has a tough external shell but a warm, soft and fuzzy inner being), a graduate from the NTL OD certificate programme once sent me a lovely quote about “Proper selfishness”. It is from Charles Handy – one of the best known international British scholars and academics in the business and organisation field that the UK has produced (he was Ed Schein’s student) and who also happens to be a deeply spiritual person (I understand he is an elder of his local church). His quote was hard to digest and it took me awhile to get what he means:

“That I term a “proper selfishness” builds on this fact that we are inevitably intertwined with others, even if sometimes we wish that we weren’t, but accepts that it is proper to be concerned with ourselves and a search for who we really are, because that search should lead us to realise that self-respect, in the end, only comes from responsibility, responsibility for other people and other things. Proper selfishness is not escapism. Paradoxically, as I have suggested, we only really find ourselves when we lose ourselves in something beyond ourselves, be it our love for someone, our pursuit of a cause or vocation, or our commitment to a group or an institution. Forced to be selfish by the changes in the world around us, we have the choice to make it proper. If more of us so choose, we can make the systems work for us rather than the other way round.” (Hungry Spirit, 1977:87)

The four key points I managed to get out from Handy’s quote are:

1. It is right to be concerned with ourselves and a search for who we really are – an important journey for all
2. But that search of self often involves the fact that we are inevitably intertwined with others; that without others, we would not find ourselves. This search will also lead us to understand the importance of responsibility to others, to important causes, to purpose and calling.
3. The paradox is when we start off being selfish wanting to find out who we are, we end up losing ourselves in something, someone beyond ourselves. When that happens, we find who we are meant to be.
4. To sum up the paradox Handy points out – without being intertwined with others, we may never find out who we are. By finding who we are, we end up losing ourselves in something bigger – “beyond ourselves”.

This quote and the thoughts behind it require time to digest and contemplate as they are “deep” thoughts.

Stimulated by his thought of this intertwined-ness, I have come to the conclusion that no experience is wasted. Every situation you and I go through will help other onlookers to use our experiences as part of their search for who they are. Yours and my life stories, particularly sufferings and trials are all part of community events – as they help others to give beyond their capacity in order to reach out to us whose experience may provoke their sense of compassion. The platform we build through our life journey enable others to stand and evaluate their own situation and be reflective about the bigger pictures questions – who am I? What purpose do I have in this life? If I were to put through what they were put through, what would I do?…by contemplating these bigger questions as an onlooker, our intertwined-ness and our connectedness will eventually bear fruits enhancing each other to understand who we are, what is ultimately important to us, what provokes us to give so selflessly, and what are our growth points.

My personal growth definitely happened in this way. I was touched by so many other people’s experiences (particularly their sufferings and trials), compelled to reach out to them and find ways to support them. By giving myself up I found a side of me that I never knew existed. On top of that, I can also testify that the becoming of my “I” was through my connection with so many significant others in my life, especially through belonging to many amazing women’s groups, having amazing mentors, psychotherapists, and having great precious friends. As the “I” grew in the circle of strong “we”, the “we” grew and multiplied; at the end a strong “us” community emerged to surround me – virtually. This community continued to command me to take more responsibility to help preserve and support those in the community, and through that I found my calling and my purpose in life.

A recent piece of interchange between a good friend of mine and me may help to illustrate what Handy meant. One day when I thanked my friend profusely for all the wonderful care she has shown to me, Stuart, and my two girls, she insisted in stopping me mid sentence. She looked at me with those big eyes and said, “as you open the door and allow me to watch what you are going through and to watch your responses (both high and low) to the various tough spells, I feel blessed and I grow significantly” And yet I am the one who experienced her generous giving to me and are deeply touched by her giving of herself to support our family. This interchange left me humbled as often when we think we have nothing to offer to the world because we are deep in our struggles, somehow others in the community are ready to plug into our lives and use the backdrop of our experiences to evaluate who they are, what is important to them, and how they can build physical and spiritual resilience in case they have to go through similar tough patches in the future. The awesome thought that springs from this is that no human experience will be wasted if we allow the “I” to relate to others – the “we”. We may even through our struggles and pain help to build a strong “us-community” which in turn will support the search and growth of the “I”. I believe this is what the intertwined-ness of people around us is supposed to work out, and I also wonder whether this is what Handy meant when he coined the term “proper selfishness”. If Handy is right, then the POKER FACE Asian and the STIFF UPPER LIP British sense of privacy and self sufficiency will stand in the way of the proper working out of our deep human connection from I to We to US.

Finally since the term “proper selfishness” carries a myriad of complex meaning which can be confusing to people, I am attempting to try an alternative label that may convey more clearly what he means. But being a non English user, plus being a woolly thinking social scientist, you may have to put up with this longer and clumsier alternative. The alternative to “proper selfishness” is – “when “I” become a connected “we” and when “we” become a strong “us”, the strong “us” will nurture the “I” to become an ever evolving growing self.” This may be clumsy, but does it make me sound like a philosopher? My ultimate aim!!! May we continue to allow others to plug into our own experiences: that is how the interconnectedness works to support each other’s growth so that we can be all we are meant to be.

I hope you continue to enjoy this sunny spring.

4th week post transplant reflection – 20th April 2011

Medical update

It is 4 weeks since I had the transplant. I just came back from the clinic where I got to see my own consultant of 15 years (Stuart looked up my medical record and found out that my first appointment with my consultant was September 1996 – have I really been ill for close to 15 years? That came as a surprise!!) I am so grateful that he has done such a top rate job of caring for me. Not only do I feel that he is on my side, always vigilant about how to manage my next phase; he is also one of the most straight talking people I have ever met which can sometimes be uncomfortable but I value it so much because I know exactly what he expects me to do or not to do. As a result I have learnt to trust him more and more. (I think the value of straight talking – but with grace – is one of the rare skills we all need to develop.) What a gift to have a physician like him to care for me for the past 15 years. Just thinking about being ill for 15 years and yet fortunate enough to have such a caring doctor for that duration made me tearful. (Am I still tearful? Yes I am! I do hope the tank will dry up soon. )

So what was his verdict? According to him:

“All signs show that the new kidney is working. We (the transplant team) just need to keep watch over all the vital signs as we need more time to tell us for sure it has settled. There are a few indicators that we will be watching as they are not as good as they should be. But I hope time will help to settle these blood results, if not I will adjust your level of medication. In the meantime, I want you to get out of bed and start doing things – because it is not good for your muscles if you still spend 2/3 of each day in bed.”

So it is great to hear his verdict and that boosted my confidence a couple of notches that there will be a successful outcome to this transplant. Praise be! The sideline remark about needing to get out of bed and start doing things gets me into a tiny panic – as I am still very tired and have been spending 2/3 of each day in bed, and I have come to love the PJ/Duvet life treatment!!! Come to think of it, I don’t think I ever have this PJ/Duvet life style in my life, at least not for this length of time. Should I be afraid that I will get used to this PJ/Duvet life style – no 6:30am train to London, no staying up late to prepare for work, no non-stop travel? I do not think so, as I am already looking forward to that morning when I wake up and feel ready to go again.

For now I have to learn to live with my body which feels exhausted all the time – taking a shower will render me breathless for half an hour afterwards. Or just looking at my study gave me this sense of weariness that I couldn’t close the door fast enough. Good grief – what happened to me? Rebekah told me the other day when I compared myself with other transplant patients who had their transplant around my time and who seem to be much more energetic – she said “mum I bet none of them were working up till the time of their transplant. You feel exhausted because not only you are recovering from the surgery, but from overworking in the past” Wisdom does come from the mouths of babes. Maybe she is right and I am now resting to recover not just from the surgery but from operating in 5th gear for the past years when I only have 2.5 gears in the engine room.

What did I do during these 4 weeks of recovery?

If I can bear the shame, I will confess – two things. First, I become addicted to watching any “house” programme (I can’t watch crime and murder programmes anymore) – e.g. House under the hammer; Relocation Relocation; Grand Design; A place in the sun; A place by the sea; Empty home; 60 minutes make over; Country house rescue…….etc. I was fascinated by these programmes. Why? I think behind all these programmes, there is a consistent theme of – people making clear decisions and choices to get out of the situations that they think are compromising themselves and those they love; the willingness to venture into the unknown, stepping into a transformation process or a restoration process, working out their core conviction and values, or working out their grand vision of what could be achieved if they dare to live their dream. Of course I admit that there are always those few un-scrupulous developers whose sole aim is to make maximum profit in these programmes. But overall most of these programmes run the themes of – transformation, restoration, living out your dream, being brave to make drastic decisions that will break up the mad cycle they feel trapped in. Even though these may not be deep spiritual transformations, they still evoke emotions in me as I witness the powerful life forces that drive very ordinary people (like you and me) to boldly make the choice that they believe will be better for them and those they love.

Self reflection questions: for those of us whose job is to come alongside organisations, groups, and individuals to help them unleash these life urges and seek to become better – organisations, employers, team members, more integrated individuals: have I tapped into my own core conviction to engage in continuous growing and development – in order to become that human being who knows how to inspire and support others to search for their best? In spiritual language, have I been willing to become all that I am meant to be as my Maker intended me to be? In terms of OD practice – have I been willing to be stretched, grow and willingly enter unknown territory so that eventually I can be that instrument for others – “we cannot take clients to places we ourselves have not gone to.”

The second thing that I have been doing is to watch Jamie Oliver’s “meals in 30 minutes.” Stuart bought me the book as my birthday present last week, and coincidentally Jamie also happens to be on TV going through those recipes. I have so much enjoyment watching him and reading the recipe book simultaneously. The motivation of trying his recipes is the only things that get me out of bed. So I now have tried a few of his recipes and my family are pleased with the outcome. One thing great about Jamie is that he makes everything appear to be so doable, speaking always with positive language “don’t worry about this or that, just go and try this, and you will be pleased with the outcome.” So many of the dishes that had seem so daunting, all of sudden look doable, and as a result, I have learnt something new – something very practical – for that I am very pleased.

Self-reflection questions: Have I done my best to reduce complex concepts into accessible and actionable ideas when I work with clients – so that at the end, the client feels that they were the one who made those complex changes and is therefore confident that they can keep making these changes happened all by themselves? Or have I held onto my pride and my need to show off/impress by making things complicated so that they will be in awe of me and what I know, leaving them unable to access their own wisdom to solve their own problems?

It is funny that two types of very ordinary TV programmes have taken me to some deep places. I hope you will find extraordinary insights from ordinary things or events in your life. For me, for the time being, I enjoy gleaning insights from watching house and cooking programmes.

Final thought about perseverance:

A very nice client of mine – Emma, gave me a booklet called “PERSEVERANCE” by Margaret Wheatley, who is a well known person in our field. This is not one of her academic books on Change, or Working with chaos, or on Organisation. This is a booklet on her observation of what makes people persevere through tragedies, harsh circumstances, uncertainties, difficulties and occasional insanity. It is a very readable book with some fantastic quotes. This is the only book I managed to read in the last couple of weeks because of the topic and because it has so few words on each of the pages.

Perseverance has become a very popular topic among organisations and consultants, as organisations knows that the current climate has created an overdose of stress for their staff, yet they need their staff to have a high level of stickability. They realise that they need to pay serious attention to the whole area of sustainable health and well being – the word most of them used is “resilience”, and there is quite extensive literature on resilience.

What does the word perseverance mean?

“Perseverance in Latin means “one who sees through to the end”;  “one who doesn’t yield.”  In English, it describes how we maintain our activity in spite of difficulties.   Tenacity, steadfastness, persistence, doggedness – these are all common synonyms.  In Chinese, the character for perseverance is often the same as the one used for patience.” (Wheatley 2010:3)

As Wheatley said, human experience is the story of perseverance. Despite hardship, war and genocide, humans have always persevered. So it will be beneficial to take some time out to think of all the people you and I know – family, friends, strangers – who have just kept going, and did not yield. How would we describe them? What are some of their traits? What do we all need to learn from them? And how those of us who are in the professional support capacity will /can do better to help people struggling to see things through to the end.

I emailed my good friend in San Francisco, Michael Pearn (who was the co-founder of Pearn and Kandola and now lives in the US) and asked him what are the characteristics of those who have the staying power. Michael is an expert in many areas that concern organisational life; among them are learning organisation and resilience. Visit his website and see his full profile: www.michaelpearn.net.

He explained to me that perseverance is one of 24 universal human strengths identified in the world’s first systematic description and validation of Values and Human Strengths that are valued for themselves in all cultures and all religious traditions throughout history.
It is defined as finishing what you start even in the face of resistance. It includes industriousness. It is a Strength that leads to the Value of Courage (defined as Strengths of will that help you accomplish goals in the face of fear and internal or external obstacles).

He told me that perseverance is often measured as a scale in personality questionnaires but he gave me a direct measure website at:
http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/tests/SameAnswers_t.aspx?id=1246

As for the main things that contribute to perseverance, Michael said it includes the following [i]:

 Optimism (realistic not unbridled)
 Self-esteem (balanced)
 Hope (ie having clear goals, an action plan, and confidence in yourself to make it work)
 An integrated life
 Effective coping strategies,
 Self-regulation
 Good diet, sleep, exercise
 Belief that what you do matters
 Growth (versus fixed) mindset

The list is very interesting but also thought provoking, especially given that most of the people I have met and known professionally and personally have personally faced tough times, resistance, major challenges, fear…etc. So if all of us want to increase our staying power and see through situations to the finishing line, then these are the areas we must work on.

What is so comforting for me is that most of this list is almost identical to the core value and traits of OD practitioners.

Are you going through a tough time now, and want to quit? Look at this list and see whether you can call out those hidden strengths you already have to increase your perseverance, or if indeed some of these qualities are missing from you, then what a great list for you to move towards to grow – after all a growth mindset is part of the list.

Self refection: I think my level of perseverance is pretty OK, but there are still things on that list that I lack and require serious work. I wonder whether I have most of these qualities and therefore I can continuously persevere through life, or whether experiencing 5 major bereavements, 15 years of chronic illness and a lot of setbacks at work and in relationships actually helped me to grow these characteristics – the chicken and egg question? If it is the latter, then may be what we all need to do is to welcome those tough situations and allow them to bear the fruits of perseverance.
Finally, I must not over use the card “this is who I am and this situation does not suit me” to quit on projects and clients whenever things get tough.
Thank you again for the cards and good wishes. Sorry I cannot reply to each of you, but your care matters. Have a good week/month ahead, and especially enjoy the two long weekends.

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[i] Peterson, C. & Seligman, M. (2004) Character Strengths and Virtues:

A Handbook and Classification. Oxford: Oxford University Press

I know many of you been wondering how I am doing. Thank you Beth for keeping people informed. First of all thank you for the cards, the texts, the flowers…etc from so many of you. I am very moved by your kindness, so I thought I would capture the first two weeks of my transplant experience and share it with you. I hope it is not too boring. The summary statement about me is – I am on the up, a centimetre at a time, but the big picture is looking good.

March 22
Today is the day I am to be admitted to the hospital by 2 pm. I arrived safely back from Minneapolis to Heathrow on Saturday (the 19th) and went straight to dialysis. Sunday, I asked the family to take me to my favourite Chinese restaurant to ensure I have my “last meal”. Monday – finished tying up all the loose ends at work and went to my dialysis. Tuesday I woke up and wanted to have my nails done – focusing on the trivial is a great distraction. I told myself I must have clean nails on the operation table – such an absurd idea in the context of a major operation, but it did manage to distract me. Afterwards, I went to the dentist to make sure that my dental hygiene is in good form (a requirement before transplant to avoid post transplant infection), then met Stuart my husband for morning coffee in the museum. While he went to “do” the museum – I finished answering my outstanding inbox emails – all 90 of them – before I went into hospital. I know I should not worry about them but I really do like to put things in order before I disappear…just in case. The final thing that I did before facing the music is to have lunch with Ruth (my oldest daughter) and my husband. We all cherished that lunch as all of us know this type of “normal activity” will not be happening for the next 3-6 months. All of the above activities managed to make a day that was supposed to be filled with all sorts of “anxieties” to pass quickly.

We went home, I reluctantly packed my hospital bag – when I procrastinate like this it acts as data telling me that I have high anxiety and I am doing my best to mask it. Ruth and Rebekah took me to the hospital as Stuart needed to pick up Alix and Fred (my donor and her husband) – we waited for two hours before my designated room was ready. Thank God for my girls as they made up a song about all the food I love to eat but have been banned from touching over the last 3 years. We had a good sing along of the new song and managed to laugh a lot. Once I was admitted and settled in my room, I was transported to the dialysis unit to have my last dialysis session. That night I slept very poorly.

Reflection: We all need people to anchor us in our lives – whether they are family or friends. I am thankful for my three anchors who were with me on the 22nd and helped me to face the big day. Also distraction and defences are sometimes useful – instead of spending the day with a bag of nerves, I distracted myself with all the things that helped me not to “feel” too much of the anxiety. As long as I do not make a habit of this, the distractions are very useful.

March 23rd (the day) through to March 28th
At 8:30 the transplant surgeon came in and said that they will soon make the phone call to the Midlands and to Scotland – to ensure they simultaneously harvest the donors’ kidneys. This is a three centre operation: Alix (my donor) is giving her kidney to the Midlands patient; the Midlands donor is giving his/her kidney to the Scottish patient, and the Scottish donor is giving his (we know the donor is a he) kidney to me. The surgeon warned me that it will be a long wait as the kidney is coming down from Scotland and the earliest they will get me into the theatre will be about 2pm.
At this point I was worried about how I would spend the waiting time as I was anxious already. But the morning passed by very quickly as Stuart and Ruth soon arrived doing what they could to distract me, and there were endless medical personnel coming in and out to prepare me for theatre. I am thankful that a sense of peace descended upon me by mid morning and I felt incredibly settled in spirit. By 2pm, the nurse came in and said the kidney still had not arrived, and it was unlikely that the transplant would begin before 3pm. A 5 minute panic – what would happen if the plane had crashed? But I exercised mental discipline and soon I settled down. By 3:20pm, it was all action; a team came and wheeled me to theatre, and I said good bye to Stuart and Ruth with lots of tears – the defence dam was finally broken. I sobbed my way to the theatre. When I got there, who do I see? An old friend of mine who 10 years ago I remember saying to him, “If I have a transplant, I would like you to be the one who puts me to sleep”. Since then we had lost touch. But now he greeted me and told me he had asked if he could be switched to be my appointed anaesthetist and that he would be taking care of me. What a wonderful sign for me. Next thing I know I slipped into unconsciousness.

By 8:00 pm (someone told me the time) I came around hearing my friend saying to me “Mee-Yan, everything went well, you are OK”. More tears even though I am still only half conscious. There was a kind nurse with a very soothing voice who was taking care of me. She frequently asked me, “Are you awake?” “How do you feel?” “Do not move too much – you have 6 tubes coming out from different parts of your body. Lie still”. After awhile, I guess she decided finally I was awake enough and asked the porters to push me back to my room on the ward. Stuart, Ruth and Rebekah were all in the room waiting for me. All I can remember was they were all very happy as the surgeon had called them at home to tell them all went well. The rest of the hour with them was a blur. The real challenge that night was not to move as there were three tubes coming out from my neck, 1 tube coming out from my hand, 1 tube coming out from the side of my wound on the left side, and 1 urinary catheter. The immobilization gave me incredible back pain. But I had one of the kindest nurses who came in every half hour to help me shift position and make sure I was comfortable since she knew the chance of me falling asleep that night would be slim. The most reassuring thing that night was that she had to keep emptying my bag of urine – all 8 litres of it (from not being able to urinate for the past year to getting rid of 8 litres is amazing) – which is one sign that the kidney is working.

When I woke up the next day, I asked the living donor nurse for news of the other two pairs – and the wonderful answer is that the other two pairs also had successful transplants. I was so pleased for all of us. Then I asked about my donor, Alix – who now is surviving on just one kidney. The doctor, the nurse, my family all told me she is doing well – after hearing that, more tears of thankfulness.

The next few days passed in a blur – there was intensive monitoring of my condition and I must have seen more than 10 doctors. They concluded that all the vital signs demonstrating that the new kidney was working were positive. I was encouraged to get up and walk on the second day with all the tubes hanging on a stand, which I used as my walking stick. I went to visit Alix for the first time after the transplant, and the overwhelming gratitude I have towards her rendered more tears. Why do I have so many tears? It must be the emotion finally busting through the rational barrier.

For these first few days what struck me was the intensity of the physical experiences and I felt overwhelmed. I was reminded that our physical condition can take over all the other functions – the thinking, the rational mind…in those few days all I could think of was how to survive the pain, the discomfort of all the tubes, the impact of the lack of sleep, the sick feeling, the effect of a self-administered pain control gadget on my consciousness. In the midst of all these, I was conscious of my deep thankfulness for modern medicine and the kind nurses. I know there is indeed so much to be grateful for.

By the third day, I kept asking the doctors when I could go home since I had given up on getting a good night sleep in the hospital bed. They listed a number of necessary conditions, and most of them were not things I could make happen. But with help from above, I managed to tick every one of them. So on the 4th day I managed to walk up and down the corridor without help; I self administered a complex cocktail of drugs; my blood tests continuously showed the multiple indicators moving in the right direction, and one by one the tubes were taken out while they monitored the impact of doing so. By the fourth day, I managed to do my first wee by myself and I cannot tell you how good that felt! So off I went home on the 5th day post surgery – which is a miracle (the predicted time that I needed to stay in the hospital is 7-14 days depending on complications). I do not dare to take this for granted. Again I am thankful.

March 29th – April 6th
I was finally home and able to sleep in my own bed. I was so happy. I was also cheered up significantly to see that 5 copies of my book had been sent to me by my publisher. It is quite amazing to see the hard work I have put in for over a year now in print.

However, I was also naive enough to expect that since I got out of the hospital within 5 days, the recovery would be straightforward. Little did I anticipate the complex journey of post transplant recovery. Soon I felt worse than ever.

The post transplant recovery experience is something I had not experienced before in my life. I soon was struggling with high blood pressure (180-200 over 90-100), breathlessness (I lost lots of blood during transplant), coughing to get rid of the junk accumulated during surgery when a tube was put down my throat (very painful with the wound), multiple reactions to a very potent anti-rejection drug that caused shakiness, nausea, mood swings – not to mention about the pain from the scar. Every day I have to take 29 pills – some I will take for the rest of my life. I felt so unwell that all I could do is to be Mrs Bennett (the mother in Pride and Prejudice), retiring to my bed most of the time. So physically, I am having a rough time – much rougher than before transplant. I feel like I have been run over by a bus. However during this tough time, I am holding on to the hope that eventually the Drs will get the level of drugs right, and eventually things will work out. I know I need to be the one to adjust my expectations – knowing that the transplant is a serious operation and it will take time for the body to heal itself. It is funny how expectations (especially inappropriate ones) can mess up our head.

The main highlight of the post hospital time has been the opportunity to hang out with Alix – she lives in Switzerland and is not allowed to return home until she gets signed off. So she is staying with us to recover. Even though we have been friends for over 28 years, we have never spent so much time with each other. I call the time we have the “Adelman-Henley and Judges house party” – as her children flew in from Australia and Greece to visit her, not to mention the stay of her son (who is in boarding school in UK) and the visit from her husband. We have had a good time hanging out –small talk, big talk sharing what’s in our hearts, and what matters to us, watching a bit of TV together. It has been a nourishing time.

During these last 2 weeks, when the journey was rough, I remembered that because of what Alix has done for me, I now no longer need to experience the following things. Just by counting my blessings, I have found the energy to keep going.

Before the transplant, I was:

• Spending 15 hours a week doing dialysis and bearing the pain of two gigantic needles being put into my flesh every time.
• Fretting over every blood test as the results were deteriorating with frightening speed.
• Having to stick to a strict diet that sometimes made life not worth living.
• Experiencing the type of fatigue that made me wish that I would not wake up once I lie down (as a better alternative.)
• Experiencing the frustration of not being able to travel to any countries except the USA and Europe.
• Not being able to eat dinner nor have contact time with Stuart and Rebekah three nights every week as I did my dialysis from 6pm till past 11 pm.
• Frequent vomiting (3-4 times a week)
• Bearing with the indescribable itchiness that came with the uncontrollable high phosphorus levels, such that I could not sleep properly.
• The inability to urinate –  sometimes storing all the fluid for up to 3 days which drove my blood pressure very high and made me feel bloated.
• Having weak muscles and brittle bone disease as the calcium from my bones was being released in massive doses to the blood stream
• Having increased probability of dying of a heart attack as the calcium and the extra potassium were lining all my arteries.
• Having to have yet another operation scheduled in February to have my para-thyroid gland removed – which would have serious consequences for my system. (they cancelled the operation once they heard of the transplant).  I have had 5 operations in the last 2 years.
• Having to cope with Rebekah’s phobia of losing me and crying regularly about the gripping fear of losing her mother.
• Having a death sentence hanging over me every day.

Just recounting this list – I have been reminded of the importance to live in a spirit of thankfulness and not to focus on how rough the recovery journey has been.

The doctors do not say a couple of months of recovery without a reason. I know the journey ahead may continue to carry risk, and the drug regime is complicated. But I am full of hope and positive anticipation.

At the end of two weeks, I know that despite my optimism, there are still a couple of things I am praying to work out right (my wish list):

1. The doctors will get the combination and level of drugs right and that by taking them I will not have such unpleasant side effects.
2. I will be protected from any form of infection.  Any infection at this stage is bad news. 
3. I can bear not to have a takeaway or go to a restaurant for over 3 months – as I now have very strict food hygiene guidelines. 
4. The kidney (which I named after my surgeon) Gilbert will settle and not do funny things.
5. The post transplant clinic – which I have to attend 3 times a week – will pick up any potential problems.
6. My main carer (Stuart, my husband) will not burn out and lose his bearing.   He needs his fuel tank to be topped up.
7. Eventually this powerful physical experience will be less overwhelming so that I will get my mind back.  Currently I cannot even read, watch TV or DVDs.  CSI becomes too much for me – I can only tolerate house programmes.   Most of the time I am mainly retiring to my bed and nodding off.   
8. The mood swings will settle down – as I am not used to having so many tears in my life.

I am incredibly grateful for the new kidney and trust that this temporary struggle will pave the way to a better and healthier state. Your flowers, cards, and prayers sustain me. Thank you.

Reflection:

• We are so lucky to have the benefit of modern medicine (my father died of renal failure close to 40 years ago because there was very limited treatment available to him).
• Kindness is still a critical thing to keep our humanity going – all the kind medical personnel and the one nurse who took care of me three nights in a row have made the intense painful experience bearable.
• The generosity and courageous love of Alix to me is literally life changing – I am so humbled by what she has done for me.
• Whoever dreamt up the pair exchange system and made it work nationally is a miracle worker – may those of you who are working continue to push the frontier of innovation.
• Misguided expectations can often mess up our mental health; I know I had to do a lot more mental and expectation adjustment these last 2 weeks in order to stay calm and be at peace.
• Our humanity is really an integrated one – body, mind, and soul.   When one part is not working, the rest will be affected.   In my case, when the body is not well, it affects other aspects of my life.  When the body shouts for attention, we need to listen to it.    The body affects the mind.  So self-care of the body is crucial.
• Temporary trials can be tolerated much better if we do not lose sight of the longer term picture/vision.
• Our mental well being so much depends on how we think; it is important to think balanced thoughts.   I have a lot of fear during these two weeks, but I need to be the one who corrects that.
• It is important to engage in “half full”, rather than “half empty” thinking and living.  When we focus on half full, you and I will be surprised by how many things are going well and that we should be thankful for.
• The importance of friendship and support – I am overwhelmed by the support I get (e.g. there is a rota of meals being organised and delivered by my dear friend Louise.)
• Finally, living a life of thankfulness is so important as life is never going to be perfect and will not always go in the direction we want.   But if we focus on what we have, rather than what we do not have, we can skip even under the most difficult circumstances.   This does not mean we have to suppress our emotions, just engage in balanced thinking. 

I think that is all for this two week reflection. For those of you who worry that I will rush back to work, worry not. I simply am not capable of doing that. I am going to listen to my body and focus on healing. So far just getting up and getting dressed in the morning can finish me and I have to fall back in bed. Please note that I do not have energy to check e-mail, so if you need something or want to communicate with me, please contact the office and ask them to print your e-mails for me. I will write again in a couple of weeks to give you another report.

Thank you for caring. Your care means a lot to me.

I hope you have had a restful and festive time with those you love over the Christmas and New Year period. Even though there is a negative, over-commercialised side to Christmas, my family and I have never failed to get excited about this time of year because of its real meaning – the importance of relationships, the act of loving, giving, receiving, togetherness, and gratitude.

This Christmas, I have been continuously struck by the critical importance of human kindness – how kindness keeps the world going round, as they say. I saw someone go and buy hot food for a homeless person; I witnessed someone who was struggling financially being given money by another so that they could afford presents and a tree. The builders who have been doing work on our house worked around the clock right up until Christmas in order to give us back a semi functional kitchen (a working oven, an old sink and a stove) so that my family could have home cooked meals over Christmas (we have lived without a kitchen for over 3 months). I have received more presents than I need from my family, especially from my 16 year old who has limited resources.

I could go on and on about kindness. But the greatest kindness that has moved me has been the offers of a kidney from 11 members of my family and friends in the past year. To think of offering one of your vital organs to someone else is beyond me. My nephew, who also has kidney failure, underwent a successful transplant operation last year because a man who lost his son in an accident decided he wanted to be an altruistic donor – to give life in remembrance of the son he lost. He kick started a chain of transplants -11 people were given the chance to live a normal life because he had chosen to be kind.

My own news is that a very special friend of mine came forward to give me a kidney last autumn but was rejected by the system – we were found to be incompatible. However, three days before Christmas the medical team changed their minds because of the progressive decline of my condition, and proposed using Alix’s kidney. This will involve putting me (my blood) onto a rigorous regime to strip me of most of my antibodies. If this proposal does go through (the decision date is 26th January) I will have the transplant some time in the Spring. Alix (my donor) has put herself in a vulnerable place in order to give me a chance to live a normal life again. That is a true mark of kindness and I am deeply grateful.
So what does this have to do with the field of OD? I think, a lot, – the character of OD practitioners, our approach in the helping relationship, and the impact a kind helper will have on clients.

I do not think I need to say much to remind you how crucial kindness is in any relationship – both personally and professionally. Just think about the last time you were feeling down and someone did something to perk you up so that you could go forward in spite of the difficulties. Think about the last time a client relationship worked: it may have been because you went out of your way to deliver extraordinary support to them, or perhaps they were consistently kind towards you even though you made a misjudgement. Consider how a client team manages to work well because within the team there is someone who is willing to go the extra mile to complete a challenging task on behalf of the group. Think about how positive you feel when someone – for example your boss or your colleague – openly acknowledges your good work and shows appreciation.
I think as a helper in a system, being kind and courteous is very important.

Let me focus on the context that makes kindness important. In most consulting situations, we are called to help the leaders to disrupt the coherence of the system because the leaders believe that the system needs to shift into a different state. They come to us not because they do not know how to disrupt the system, but because they know the disruption is a psychologically costly business, and if the changes are not done right, then they know they can not engage the troops to stay creative during the disruption and the ownership of the new coherence will be slim. Hence, they know they do need help to “do the disruption in a more compassionate way.”

The leaders may not use the word compassion explicitly, but often you and I can pick that up from their briefing. Compassion, at root, means to suffer together. It also means to bring people comfort, strength, courage, and help people to speak their truth even if they are angry. Since there are lots of implicit undercurrents of emotion flowing around during “disruption”, it is our job to be sensitive and notice the anxieties and worries – conscious or unconscious – that affect individual and group function. In fact, by the time we are called in, the individual or the group may be already experiencing difficulties so deeply that they need someone to help who is neutral and non-judgemental and who is committed to the restoration of the situation.

Most of the clients we work with are also likely to be suffering in some sort of dysfunctional relationship with some of their colleagues or superiors because of in-house politics, individual differences, or personality clashes. On top of that some of them also carry worries relating to their home front: for example, an unresolved child-care situation; having to work longer hours and the impact that has on their domestic relationship; a sense of guilt that they have to impose their needs on those around them. Or even an ill child or partner, or parents. While our role is not to be their psychotherapists, we need to be sufficiently aware of the complex human dynamics among the client systems we work in. We need to show sensitivity, build bridges and foster trust so that we are in a position to serve them well – i.e. to support them sufficiently so that they are free to sort out their own issues and get things done.

So what does being kind mean? And what does kind behaviour look like for OD practitioners? Bear with me as I venture to give a few examples.
First, being kind means that you and I are there to serve the needs of the clients and not our own needs. We are there for the clients – for example, focusing on what might be a positive move for them regardless of whether that move would fulfil our own desire for security, recognition, self-esteem and power.
Second, we stay empathetic and cultivate a presence that will convey to them that we know their struggles and our support of them is free from complicated motives. Thus if they miss a deadline in delivering their agreed work assignment, we do not judge them or become critical of them. We show understanding of their workload and capacity situation.
Third, in our communication to them we do not keep rigidly to our own preference style saying, “This is how I always do communication”; instead we focus on their most receptive channel and shift our style wherever necessary. Commitment to working with their preference will make us more effective in our communication with them.
Fourth, we stay non-judgemental and accept the differences between them and us even though the differences may make us uncomfortable and cause them to reject some of our suggestions and ideas.

Fifth, we are committed to their growth and development – enlarging their capacity to do their own work, rather than building their dependency on us. Giving them the dignity of authentic conversation (instead of escaping real conversation about real issues) will be a sign of kindness.
Sixth, we stay discrete and act as a safe confidant to the clients so that they have a sense of safety when they share their views with us.
Seventh, we stay a step ahead of them, always pre-empting their needs or anxieties by being proactive in sorting out practical issues – for instance, calling a meeting, having draft agendas ready, reminding them about key issues that may have slipped off their mental lists.

This is definitely not an exhaustive list of kind behaviour, but it helps remind us of some of the small, basic actions that will convey our kindness to our clients. If kindness is not a word that make sense to you then substitute it with empathy, or coming alongside, or being supportive, or a client focused approach. Whatever term we choose, it is a character virtue which OD writing seldom identifies explicitly.

Is there a danger of being too kind? Yes – anything can be overused and have an imbalanced impact. However, we must hold on to the key goal of OD practitioners – to help our clients improve their situation and, in so doing, help them become independent and better able to solve their problems themselves. You see, kindness is a freeing agent rather than a binding agent, especially if those who bestow kindness have no other motive than to give appropriate support and help to those who are asking for it.
I have finished the lengthy chapter on OD practitioners in my upcoming book, and I regret that I did not discuss character at all; hence this blog to remind myself that character is as important as competencies for us in our development. Margaret Mead once said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever does.”

I’d like to adapt her saying to “please do not ever think one person’s kindness cannot light up the world, that is all we have”. Go and light up someone’s world this year.

I was thinking about the subject of ‘voices’ recently. I don’t mean the physiological aspect of speaking or how audible certain voices are. I am referring to our ability to voice what we think and deeply feel – both at work and in our personal lives.

I find it strange that so many of the competent, professional people I meet find it hard to ‘voice’ their views about specific professional matters. Recently I was working with five different groups of senior HR people. They all knew the factors explaining why their organisation was failing in one way or another, yet none of them felt it was their role to share their analysis or their proposals with their seniors. I asked why (which is not a good question) and many of them said, “they won’t listen to us” or “we are not close enough to be able to say that” or “in this company, best to mind your own business” or “we are not close enough to get through to those people” or “the project team will fix it, we do not need to get involved.”

One particular group who would not speak the truth about their organisation gave me even more reason to worry. “I will be punished if I push my leaders”; “opening things up and involving people is not a desirable thing to do”; “you have to guarantee a positive outcome before you get me to say what I want to say”; and finally, “managers do not want what we have to offer.”

This reminds me of the Challenger disaster case in 1986. When the spacecraft blew up in the sky soon after it took off, the investigation committee found that more than 30 people had known that the shuttle should not be launched, but they all refused to ‘voice’ their doubts. Their reasons were quite similar to those listed above. In the end, all those who knew that it was a risk to launch the spacecraft kept their voices inaudible (they spoke to each other but not to those individuals who could have done something about it) and that resulted in the United States’ space programme being put years behind schedule.

In a less dramatic way, every day I listen to people retelling how they feel about lots of things. But they won’t speak out to those whom they live with, work with, liaise with, play with about what they really want to say because they are bound by very rigid rules. For example, “I must be helpful”; “I must be nice”; “I must not offend others by saying no”; “I must take the group decision because who am I to disagree”; “it is easier to get along with people if you just keep things to yourself”. These are all very noble intentions and often spring from a desire to be courteous and kind, but the consequences are just as undesirable. For example, when people within a small team don’t get to relate authentically and relate to each other through roles and masks, they miss out on an opportunity to do high level synergistic work, they duplicate work, and progress towards becoming an effective team is unnecessarily slow. Also, in the long run, conflict will emerge in the most unexpected circumstances: the fuses will blow because of long term neglect of working with each other in a sustainable way.

So, instead of asking “why do people lose their voice?” (which is another unhelpful question), I want to spend the rest of my time on how we can strengthen our voices and make it a habit to speak our voices out.

Step One – focus on the collective good and the results that can be achieved by you sharing your voice.

One of the professional obligations for us is to ensure we are there to serve the greater good – the good of the people we serve, the good of the people the organisation serves, the viable future of the organisation, the ethical standards of the current practices…etc. Start by asking yourself what matters to you in the bigger scheme of things? Would those things be compromised if you did not voice your view? Often it is by focusing on the results that we gain the courage and strength to do something that feels risky. Also ask yourself what the negative consequences would be if you kept your voice inaudible?

Step Two – gather some more data to ensure your voice is robust – overcome the doubts you have.

We can counter our timidity by running our views past those we trust. By testing your view with others you can see whether it has credibility and a strong basis. Once you have gathered more data and feel more robust, then you can voice your view without feeling feeble, even when others counteract it. You can hold your own and feel grounded even in a tough debate. Also if you have robust data, it becomes your duty to raise your voice and to improve the various areas in work.

Step Three – practice straight talking.

I am more convinced than ever that people in HR and OD need to learn the skill of straight talking – saying what you mean without going round and round in a convoluted way, just to avoid getting the message out. Straight talking does not need to be considered rude; straight talking can be done with both courtesy and humility. So often in conversation I wanted to step in and say to someone – “why don’t you tell him exactly what you want to say”, because for those of us who spend time listening to all the implicit and covert stuff in communication we can literally hear the meaning behind the convoluted way of speaking. Of course I do not say this, as often I do not have permission to intervene in this way. But this is an area where we all need to practice.

Take Peter Senge’s advice by setting up a two-column piece of paper. Put in one column what you really want to say to someone, and in the other column what you actually said to them – to track the discrepancies between the two. Then think about the cumulative impact your inability to voice your view will have on the relationship and the situation. Another thing is to start scripting what you want to say so that you will practice using your voice. For example, if you need to tell someone that their ideas need further work then try to say something like, “while there is merit in the paper, a couple of arguments need strengthening” rather than saying, “I really like the article, very good overall”, hoping they will come in to do their own self critique. Another example: “I found the last session with you tough as I felt misunderstood by you, even though I know you don’t mean to injure me. Can we talk about that now?”, rather than, “I know you care about me, and I think we are doing OK in our communication.” Similarly, saying, “the way we are going about doing this work feels lacking in both energy and innovative ideas, I propose we need to spend time looking at how we can increase both innovation and energy”, rather than “all your contribution is valued, and I think our outcome is acceptable”. Learning to say what we mean is often the catalyst which can push a group into a different level of functioning – as long as we leave brutality and attack of personality out of the equation.

Step Four – strengthen your self-system so that if others do not react well to what you say, your world doesn’t collapse.

I think one of the reasons we cannot voice our view is that we spend a lot of our time being self conscious about how others will see us. We want people to value us, like us, approve of us and see us as competent and anything that may get in the way of people’s positive acceptance of us will be self exorcised out of our behaviour portfolio.

So…if our identity depends so much on how others may or may not react to us (negatively) all the time, we will be moving away from saying what we care deeply about and think clearly about. As an employer, I often worry about what I will lose out in terms of quality ideas. As colleagues, I worry about what the team will be missing out if no one is there to challenge the group to think. Finally, I do worry about the cumulative effect on people’s self esteem and their integrity as people if, over time, they continue to make compromising their voice a habitual practice.

The time has come. If you are one of those whom I am writing about – please allow yourself to feel the cumulative frustration you must have for not being able to express your view. Let the frustration drive you to want to do things differently – to begin making your voice heard. Use a notebook to start writing down all the opinions that matter to you both at work and in your home. Start to make plans and let people know about them. It is a life development journey.

Enjoy the freedom that comes when you can finally say what is in your heart and mind. But more importantly, because of your professional competencies and judgement, your employer does need you to share your view and help the team to become a highly effective team.

I am aware that I have not written a blog since the spring of this year. Where has all the time gone? All I can say is I have not been idle. I have been working hard on the book, and it is done. Still, we do not know what we are going to call this book, but it is written as a practitioners’ guide to OD – I am pleased with it as I think it will be a useful guidebook for those who want to practice. It will come out in the spring, 2011. I am now back, and hopefully you will see me writing more blogs in the next two months.  

Where am I? I am sitting in the New Orleans airport waiting to board the plane to return to London. I have just attended the Annual OD Network conference – 2010. I often come to conferences like this to find out the “state of the OD discipline” by the programme they put on and the key note speakers they invite. So what did I find out?  

As expected, there are the normal dose of sessions on coaching, change management, and leadership. Those three areas are still occupying a lot of OD practitioners’ attention. There are also two sessions on the importance of demonstrating our value and how to evaluate OD work to prove our worth- showing us that the time has come to hold firm to the value we offer and show it to the clients – many of whom still see us as a disposable function.

The key note speaker (David Rock – neuroleadership.org) spoke on the exciting findings of neuro-scientific studies on leadership and together with other sessions showed me that neuroscience studies are making an impact on how we think and practice. This is an area in which we must spend more time investigating and integrating. Instinctively I know most of the works in this area are relevant to our practice. I want to learn more on this. The other key note speaker (Jean Houston – jeanhouston.com) focused on the dynamic and evolving human capacities in times like these. Her concept of “social artists” – and her advocacy in creating both physical and virtual events that activate the potential of individuals, organisations and countries is a challenging message to those of us who are using limited channels to work with clients.

The one session which really caught my eye is – the session on “iPods and organisation structure” – challenging us to design organisation with the goal of crafting an authentic emotive experience (like those of us who use iPod). This is a sign that there is a new generation of OD practitioners who are moving OD on to take on the “new”  to integrate into the core. This is exciting to me.

There is also an obvious pre-occupation with how to accelerate change as demonstrated by the abundance of all kinds of accelerated change methods and approaches being presented in the conference.  It is comforting to know that large group methodologies continue to evolve and they are indeed the type of methodology used to engage the workforce especially during change. Indeed, the underlying concern of most of the sessions – is the word engagement. There is a real concern in how do organisations engage their workforce to do great work and to keep the performance up during turbulent times.  This concept of engagement is – no surprise – a core concern of OD practitioners. The wonderful and accessible book by Richard H Axelrod on ‘Terms of Engagement’ (Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc 2010) is a recommendation by me. He also received a ‘life time award’ from the OD Net Conference. I have booked him to come to UK in June to do a one day event for NTL graduates, a public lecture on “How to do engagement better for leaders” and then stay and run a three-day event on large group methodology and the OD approach to engagement. He is giving me dates for this, and the minute I know I will let you all know.

Finally, it is also very reassuring to see the core bits of OD are still featuring strong – the importance of use of self, theories of practice, change management based on the human centric perspectives, the importance of collaboration, appreciative leadership, diversity and multicultural competency. I walked away feeling very proud, the field definitely is evolving, changing – eager to take whatever is new in the horizon to adapt and to continuously improve our practice. We somehow should continue to act like intellectual scavengers – taking anything that will help us to understand the human system better and to help make them better.

As demonstrated by this annual conference programme and the wonderful American colleagues I have met, there is a fierce group of loyal OD practitioners who are holding on to the core of OD as well as moving on to develop the field. Long may the field last – for those of you who have not attended an OD network conference in the states, maybe we should organise a group to go next year. Better still, I have made great progress towards bringing OD Network organisation over to the UK during this conference. I promise to let you know when the next step is completed. Hope you are keeping well.

A few weeks ago, I attended the launch of Demos’s research on the change process in the RSC, during which I acted as consultant support. Demos have done a great job documenting the journey, for which I congratulate them. If you would like to download the full publication, the reference would be: Hewison, R., Holden, J., and Jones, S., All Together: A Creative Approach to Organisational Change, (London: Demos, 2010), available for download at http://www.demos.co.uk/publications/all-together.

This blog is to capture a few thoughts on OD and change to encourage practitioners that effective change is doable and there are results that demonstrate that.

I. Applying Organisational Development to the RSC

There are many OD principles affecting our change approach. For the RSC case, there are three which were particularly important.

1. Identifying the correct type of change and focusing on the ‘end game’

The ensemble-change at the RSC is an internally initiated change with the intention of spreading what works from the theatre to the rest of the organisation. The objective is to bed down the ensemble culture in people’s day-to-day behaviour. The change is hence primarily a cultural alignment and a behavioural exercise but with a clear strategic intention.

In OD methodology, once the nature of change has been worked out, the next job is to focus on the ‘end game’. At the RSC, the ‘end game’ was to align individual paradigms and behaviour with the organisation’s ensemble culture. This required at least three levels of system intervention: the individual level, the group (inter-group) level and the level of the total organisation. This entailed:

• providing specific, individual experiences (mainly through dialogue) so that people can examine their own paradigm and modify behaviour themselves;
• creating a ‘cultural island’ experience for groups so that in those change interventions, old norms can be challenged and new norms can be experimented with, without risk;
• and aligning the organisation’s systems and processes to reinforce and support the change paradigm and behaviour.

At the RSC, we involved people in identifying the collective desired outcomes of change. This gave people the opportunity to contribute to creating the conditions by which the RSC could achieve those outcomes.

2. Securing the engagement of key people

Successful change depends upon identifying and securing the engagement of key individuals and groups. I worked with Vikki Heywood and Michael Boyd to identify:

• the key individuals and groups on whom change would depend;
• those who held data that we, as the change team, did not have;
• those whose perspectives were needed to provide a more robust way of thinking about change.

We paid a lot of attention to human dynamics because the RSC is full of political complexity and staffed with individuals who have high aspirations for the organisation and their art. We knew most people in the RSC would like to take part in determining the change processes. The principle that governed our thinking was that ‘people will support what they help to create’ (Weisbord, 1987).

Our first step was to engage the Steering Committee, the Steering Group and middle management before making the change agenda public within the rest of the organisation. Without endorsement at this level, the project would have been vulnerable, so an intervention was designed to help people to personalise the reasons as to why taking an ensemble approach to change might be good, and to encourage people to discuss their doubts and hesitations openly. My job was to support Heywood and Boyd in considering what type of processes would help to acknowledge and work with any conflict and resistance encountered in these top groups. Interventions were designed to enroll the help of these key groups in supporting the implementation of solutions with the rest of the organisation in phase II.

3. Using ‘High Leverage’ change methodology

High Leverage methodologies ‘create high energy and yield extraordinary sustainable results’ (Holman and Devane 1999). Such methodologies have been proven to reduce implementation time over more directive methods by half (Bunker & Alban 1998, Wheatley 1999). There are a number of key elements to ‘High Leverage’ methods.

•  They are dialogue based – Any change that challenges people’s personal ‘worldview’ or paradigm cannot rely on the ‘tell and sell’ approach: a structured dialogue and inquiry approach is much more effective. In any culture-change process, people need the freedom to have a voice, to be heard, to dream, to be passionate, to co-construct, to participate and to contribute. Positive psychological approaches such as Appreciative Inquiry work best. We used this at the RSC, especially in the intervention that took the form of a staff conference, where we started the process with a pair interview: using the themes of the interview, we invited people to co-construct how change should be approached and what conditions would support it.
•  They are whole system based, surface-diverse perspectives – Change, particularly culture-change processes, must encourage the various parts of a system to connect with each other. People support change more if they have opportunities to share understanding of the need to change, analyse current reality, identify what needs to change, generate ideas on how to change and map out an implementation plan. It is important to engage multiple perspectives, and give different stakeholders the opportunity to influence each other. This strengthens debate and helps people find common ground. From my experience, common ground will only emerge after the diverse views held within an organisation have been properly debated. At the RSC, a number of conflicting perspectives did emerge, and Heywood and Boyd listened to those voices and adjusted the speed and content of the change programme accordingly, hence creating a safe atmosphere in which change could happen.
•  Emotions matters and are crucial data – All changes arouse emotions, positive as well as negative. If these are not properly managed, the change outcome will be at risk. OD recognises people’s desire to shape their own destinies; if people understand why and where change is needed, they can work out the implementation and are more likely to support change than if they are simply told what will happen. All the change processes we designed at the RSC aimed to encourage people to share not just their view but also their emotions – this is especially important for a creative organisation where emotions are a core part of their creative resources. Heywood, Boyd and the change team did a great job in managing individuals’ emotions. Through their commitment to the change process, they provided what I call an ‘emotional anchor’ for the staff.
•  Managing psychological transition – OD focuses on the transition process rather just the outcome to which it aspires. It is not the change outcome that trips people up – it is the transition journey that does the damage (Bridges 2003). OD must therefore manage people’s experiences of transition, delivering change in such a way as to ensure there is a ‘safe arrival’. By involving the RSC staff as early as possible, I relied on their ‘native instinct’ in identifying how best to manage the different concerns that emerged from the change journey.
•  Leverage the covert processes to deliver results – Most people tend to use the rational and logical ‘business cases’ to mobilise people in change. However, out of the six dimensions of change, five are covert. Bob Marshak has shown that change needs to work beyond the level of reason (rationality, analysis and logic) and extend to addressing organisational politics (individual and group interests), inspirations (values-based and visionary aspirations), emotions (affective and reactive feelings), mindsets (guiding beliefs and assumptions); psychodynamics (anxiety-based and unconscious defences) (Marshak 2006). For an arts organisation, leveraging the key covert processes are critical in securing change outcomes, particularly as the staff will likely hold great visionary aspirations for the art form and impact of the organisation. By leveraging these aspirations, it is possible to mobilise change faster than by just relying on logic and analysis.

II. Lessons from the RSC experience

As I look back over the three years that I have spent with the RSC, I know that the various participatory processes led by key stakeholders (Heywood and Boyd) have mobilised the change journey and have unleashed energy within the organisation. By focusing on the principles of distributed leadership, multiplying imagination, engagement and participation, we employed a methodology more suitable to the RSC than an expert-led, formula-led methodology.

The experience also confirmed once again that when a change process puts people’s engagement at the heart of it, using High Leverage change methodologies, connecting different parts of the organisation together, working through multiple perspectives, and keeping the whole system together, the change effort sticks. What is more, the process we used enabled most people to voice their doubts and scepticism, which the change leaders could then use as part of the data to adjust the pace and the approach to change.

Finally, by using concrete and defined roles to include more individuals within the organisation into the change project early on, we encouraged people to share their passion and dreams about the organisation. This helped to make the transformation more sustainable. The direct involvement of both top management and some key middle managers and senior leaders in the major interventions provided visible support.

To close, I want to highlight the prime reflections from my work with the RSC.

Three conditions that help to make culture-change easier

My work with the RSC has reminded me that, while culture-change can be complex, it can also be made easier if three conditions exist:

•  visible and active role-modelling by key leaders;
•  an appropriate amount of group reconfiguration, and
•  systemic alignment to bed down the behavioural changes in the cultural fabric of the organisation.

Visible Leadership – Leaders, especially if they are liked and respected (which Heywood and Boyd are), are critical role models in the change journey. People will want to move in the direction their leader signposts for them, especially when there is a psychological bond between those leaders and the staff. However, personal liking will not alone suffice to make a culture-change stick, there have to be processes that help turn initial compliance into commitment. The example of the RSC shows one way in which this can be achieved: through respected leaders demonstrating personally how, in this case by embracing ensemble behaviour, they achieve successful outcomes. By associating successful outcomes with ensemble behaviour, staff were helped to see that the new behaviour was a ‘good’ way to work and how, through practice, the behaviour gradually became part of the new cultural DNA.

Both Boyd and Heywood held the culture-change process together by living it, talking about it, using it and demonstrating it. There is no doubt that their visible leadership has helped to shift the culture during the past three years.

Reconfiguration of groups – Culture is a dynamic phenomenon that, as well as being shaped by leadership behaviour, is constantly enacted and created by interactions between individuals and groups. In this sense, culture constantly evolves and is shaped through interaction between people. One way to shift culture is therefore by reconfiguring groups within the organisation, mixing up different communities and helping them to interact with each other, creating opportunities for paradigm and reality be reshaped as different groups influence each other’s approach to work. As Edgar Schein of MIT Sloan School of Management puts it, culture happens not so much ‘in’ people but ‘in between’ people (Schein 1999). Therefore by modifying the interaction, we modified the texture of group thinking.

System (Organisational) alignment to reinforce the behavioural change – At the RSC, the great work that the HR and Communications Departments did helped to embed the behavioural changes. Adele Cope (HR) and Liz Thompson (Communications) aligned many RSC systems and processes to ensure there was a ‘systemic’ platform to support the ensemble culture. Many of their impressive efforts have started to pay dividends; I am sure there will be more to come if the RSC continues to work in an ensemble way.

III. Last word

Working across borders with ease and elegance – an ‘ensemble’ way of working – is what most organisations should be aiming for. The exchange of perspectives enables organisations to adapt with greater ease. Leaders instinctively know that paradigm agility and seamless collaboration will lead to agile products (productions in the case of RSC) as well as customer service agility. In the tough economic environment currently prevailing, people need to learn how to behave as entrepreneurs by going across borders to secure resources to deliver results that matter to the organisation.

Initially, the process of becoming an ‘ensemble organisation’ was a value alignment exercise for the RSC. However, I hope the rest of the RSC’s leaders will soon come to see the ensemble approach as a way of becoming agile and flexible, to help the RSC thrive in a turbulent environment with diminishing resources. I hope the RSC case encourages many other organisations to take a bold and innovative approach to preparing their organisation for the future.

Bibliography

Bridges, W. (2003) Managing transitions: making the most of change. New York: Da Capo Press
Bunker, B.B. & Alban, B.T. (1996) Large group interventions: engaging the whole system for rapid change. San Francisco: Jossey Bass

• Economist Intelligence Unit (2008) Securing the value of business process change. A study commissioned by Logica Management Consulting
• Holman, P. & Devane, T. (1999) The change handbook: group methods for shaping the future. San Francisco: Berrett Koehler
• Marshak, R.J. (2006) Covert processes at work. San Francisco, Berrett Koehle
• Schein, E.H. (1999) The Corporate Culture Survival Guide, Jossey-Bass
• Weisbord, M. (1978) Organisational diagnosis: a workbook of theory and practice. Reading, Massachusetts, Basic Books

What is our practice trademark – our consultancy approach?

“Tell me what your consultancy approach is?” or “Tell me how you would describe your OD practice characteristics?”  – I do not know how often you are being asked these questions by clients or by colleagues, nor do I know what your answers would be. If you are like most OD practitioners, you would be more into ‘doing’ the work than articulating your practice ‘brand’ because you may not have given too much time to think about the following questions:

• Why did I get into this field? What is my calling?
• What is the purpose of my work? What is my passion and idealism for the world of organisation and people?
• What values do I hold dear that at the very least I am willing to work hard at in order to translate them into actual practice?

I think most of us intuitively know the answers to these questions but find formalising them a bit too much work. In writing the chapter on ‘What is an OD practitioner?’ in my co-authored book, I have tried to encourage practitioners to know their ‘practice trademark’. Somehow I believe the Gestalt theory that ‘labelling’ (giving something a name, a description) is a first step to help us mobilise our energy towards ‘it’ – our practice. So if you and I know what we do and why, then we can share the knowledge accumulated through practice with others. We can devote energy to develop and stretch those practice areas that we need to work on, and strengthen our intentional use of self – “self as instrument”.  In this blog I’d like to share briefly with you on what I think the OD practice trademark is. Let me know whether I am on the right track.

The intended outcome of OD is a critical frame to shape our practice trademark

Before I start on my six areas, it is important to anchor our practice in the purpose of OD – what does the field intend to achieve for the world of work? French and Bell, who wrote the first OD text book, define OD as an organisation improvement strategy (French and Bell, 1978) and at the heart of this strategy, there are two goals:

 a)           To improve the functioning of individuals, teams and the total organisation.

 b)           To teach organisation members how to continuously improve their own function without depending on external support. 

While there are a lot of consultancy approaches out there also aiming to improve the functioning of organisations, two things are glaringly missing from their work. Things which make OD work unique – (1) build sustainability of change implementation, (2) intentionally increase the client system’s ability to engage in self-renewal or self-determination effort. In order to achieve those two goals of OD, our practice needs to start with the following six characteristics:

(1)    The Focus on the Human Enterprise

 While OD practitioners can fix systems, can align processes, do organisation design, sort out conflict, help change culture, and help to manage complex change, the ultimate focus of what we do is in the human enterprise side of the organisation. We believe that organisation is a ‘living system’ – has a life of its own. Therefore, unlike the machinery focus, we take the human dimension within each of the jobs assigned to us seriously. We build our expertise in human dynamics, group dynamics, and system dynamics and it is this knowledge base that gives us the know-how to build the capability of those who live within the system to fix and improve itself. If we are asked to help an organisation to restructure their organisation without figuring out how to support the people through the transitional journey, then we will not be practicing good OD. Yet so many consultancy firms do exactly that.

Tichy (1974:169) sums up the nature of our work clearly – 

“I work on the human side of the enterprise. That is, I help people, mostly top executives, work out their problems of interpersonal relationships and communications, conflict of interest. I get involved in planning and implementing procedures of goal setting, decision making, conflict resolution, and the delegation of authority.  In this way I help an organisation develop and modify its governance and problem-solving mechanisms”. 

So organisations can always rely on OD professionals to help their leaders to deliver greater health through our expertise in human dynamics.

 (2)    Collaborative and development approach

 Since the aim of OD is not to do the work of the client but to facilitate processes to enable the client not only to do their own work, but learn how to sustain the momentum of such work, therefore our approach is a collaborative one. We seize every opportunity to turn our clients to be collaborators, co-investigators, diagnosticians, joint planners, helpers in executing the interventions, and co-evaluators. We do this because we want to get the client system engaged in their own issues, and to pick up the capability to carry on with the OD phases on their own, and eventually OWN the change processes. This way, we know we are building momentum for implementation – which is what sustainability is all about. The collaborative approach requires us practitioners to work harder to build a mutually trusting relationship which we, in the beginning of our contact, have to aim for intentionally. 

 (3)    The importance of relationship building in our work

In order to provide support to the clients in the way we have just described, we need to turn our attention to building a trusting relationship with our clients – from the beginning. We know without establishing effective helping relationships with and among individuals and groups within the client system well, we will not have a solid platform to deliver the ‘content’ and ‘process’ help. This central focus on effective relationship building and maintenance remain the same regardless of what the consultancy assignment is.  

This is why Weisbord (1977:108) is so adamant that a successful contract would need to address both the task and relationship issues during the process of consultancy. He said:

 “What do I mean by contract?  I mean an explicit exchange of expectations, part dialogue, part written document, which clarifies for consultant and client three critical areas:

1.       What each expects to get from the relationship.
2.       How much time each will invest, when, and at what cost.
3.       The ground rules under which the parties will operate. 

That is why we will always aim to have a strong OD contract with our clients that covers both task and relationship issues.

(4)    Focus on ‘process’ more than ‘task’.  

Another practice trademark is our concern for ‘processes’ and not just tasks. When clients ask us to address any task issues –we know our job has to focus beyond what the task is about, we need to be intentional in how the task is being done. In practice this means we need to set up processes to help the client to define and clarify what the system really needs and wants in terms of change agenda. That is done to help them to decide what type of data they will need in order to make those decisions.  What is the best way to obtain such data and who else needs to join the team to analyse the data – to be involved in the final decision making for ownership reasons so that, at the end, the system can work together to deliver what it wants? We know the various processes that define the ‘how’ is not just to get things done, but to pass whatever skills we use during the journey to the client.  

(5)    Process-Facilitator-Educator versus Expert-Advice-Giver Approach 

The focus on process rather than just on task defines the OD practitioners’ approach which is more as a facilitator-educator than an advice-giver, as illustrated by the following quote:

“We believe it is possible and desirable, for the OD consultant to be an expert in the sense of being competent to present a range of options open to the client, but any extensive reliance on the traditional mode of consulting, that is, giving substantive advice, will tend to negate the OD consultant’s effectiveness.” (French and Bell, 1999:257)

Schein has also been very explicit about why the expert role does not fit into what OD is about (1988:5-11).  

• Expert role builds dependency – To help the client system to develop its own resources, we need to support continuous internal skill development. Our expert role will not do that instead, it will help to build a level of dependency.
• Expert role is not conducive to collaboration – The expert role will automatically lead to a “selling role” and a “defending role” when we present our recommendations. This style will cut short the joint exploration process and negate a collaborative and development approach to improve organisational effectiveness. 
• Expert role can lead to an adversary position – The expert role, particular when played out mainly among the senior leaders will lead to us losing credibility with the people below because they know that we did not have all the data to base our recommendation on since those who have the answers were not included in the decision making process.
• Expert role will induce unrealistic expectations – If we continue with giving substantive advice, it will increase the expectations from our clients that we are able to give more and more advice – this reliance on us would prevent us from achieving our central mission which is to help them to be self-sufficient in capability and resources with the change processes.

(6)    The Use of Self – the Big “I” Intervention.

Finally, OD founders make a major distinction between the many tools and techniques the practitioners employ to support clients from the use of oneself to effect changes. One of our practice trademarks is that we will deploy our ‘self’ constantly to intervene in the client system.  From the moment we make contact, we use our ‘self’ to facilitate the multi parties to come to agreement as to what type of future or outcomes they want for their organisation, we work with the various concerns different groups have before we can finalise the contract. We also use our intuition and judgement to guide the clients through every phase in the OD cycle and to personally model some of the ethics and values that we expound. All those processes are held together by our conscious intention to use ourselves for results and that is what Tschudy (2006) calls the “big I” intervention which speaks to the “intentional use of self to create the impact” and “the artful interaction with the client system in which the organisation moves from its current state to some desired state.” (Tschudy, 2006:166)

Final word
So, here are my thoughts about our practice trademark – I am sure I have missed out some key points?  As I write this chapter, it struck me how hard it is to do OD work because this approach to help actually goes against our human need to be needed, to be recognised and to be esteemed for our expertise and the value we can bring into the system. As Schein said our greatest work is to resist the seduction to be an expert demonstrating our special gifts to the clients, instead we should be acting more like a shadow consultant to stay in the background and work ourselves out of a job.  This approach will require us to be very grounded about our self worth. I am not there yet, are you?

So based on the above, do you think I can be bold enough to do in the book something most of us avoid– to define who is doing OD and who is not?

Happy new year to all of you. May 2010 bring greater growth and greater impact in all that we do. I want to start the year by looking at Professor Lynda Gratton‘s work. 

In 2009, Professor Lynda Gratton from London Business School published an interesting book – –‘GLOW: HOW YOU CAN RADIATE ENERGEY, INNOVATION AND SUCCESS’ (Financial Times Prentice Hall, 2009.) She defines a glowing person as “someone [who can]….radiate positive energy that has the effect of inspiring others, attracting interesting work, and creating amazing relationships and networks” (2009:2). She was convinced that there are three factors that are responsible to make people glow. They are;

• A Cooperative mindset – glowing people have built deeply trusting and cooperative relationships with others. According to her, someone who has a cooperative mindset will;
  a) develop habits and skills of cooperation; b) master the art of great conversations; c) know how to act on the “smell of the place”.
• Jumping across worlds – glowing people have extended their networks beyond the obvious to encompass the unusual. These are the type of people who always look out to increase the value of their networks as well as jumping out of the boundaries that constrain them, finding and moving to ‘boundary less’ places.
• Ignite latent energy – glowing people are on the inner quest that ignites their own energy and that of others by asking questions that spark energy, by creating visions that compel, and by crafting meaningful and exciting work.

She based these primary premises from what she called her “deep” research as well as her own coaching experiences – both gave her substantial data on what energized and innovative people actually do. This book is an individual sequel to her earlier book on glowing organisations – ‘HOT SPOTS: Why Some Companies Buzz with Energy and Innovation – and Others Don’t’ (FT Prentice Hall, 2007)     which she published in 2007 (if you have not read ‘HOT SPOTS’ – I highly recommend this book to you). In fact, the concept of Hot spot vs. Big freeze is so significant to the future of organisations because its impact on innovation is what helps to keep an organisation to be always leading rather than following. The significance of her work was proven when the state of Singapore hired Professor Gratton to help the nation create hot spots in their industry so that they could be the leader in innovation.   

Her work made me think quite hard about us leaders/consultants/helpers/practitioners and our ability to create energy in the system we lead and work. When leaders know how to create HOT  SPOTS, the climate of the organisation will be much more buzzing than those who don’t. It is by their behaviour and their latent energy, they will lead their organisation to collaborative innovation.  As for us consultants, often clients do not hire us just because of our intellect or our experiences alone, they hire us because we have something different to offer to the system. This ‘something different’ can always be linked to the positive energy we radiate and bring to the people we work with. If we look back to those jobs that we have done well, often it could be traced back to some of the three factors Professor Gratton pointed to – we collaborate with our clients, or we facilitate collaboration between clients, we are able to be masterful in the way we conduct conversation – from scoping the project, to carrying out diagnostic work, to helping the client to understand the data, to supporting them to make informed choices. Our ability to smell the place (what I call contextual savvy) gives us insights about how best to work with them without imposing specific protocol we are familiar with.   

She turned these three things into a simple diagnostic profile (the Glow Checklist). You can download a copy from www.hotspotsmovement.com

I trust that as you read her book, you will also come full circle back to the sources of personal referent power – something that is crucial for us as OD helpers.

I grew up in Asia, was educated in the United States, worked in more than 15 countries (including the Middle East) and now live in Great Britain – wherever I am, I have always been amazed about how important Christmas is regardless of religious faith.   In the couple of years I worked in the Emirates, Christmas is celebrated with just as much enthusiasm as in the West despite the fact that a majority of its residents are Muslim. So why? Other than pure commercialism (which is a big part), I think there are some features of Christmas that reflect the fundamental nature of us, our relationship and our needs.

Gifts – Someone defined a gift as the “undeserved grace” that we receive. Giving and receiving gifts can be a very affirming gesture for us – we use the shortcut of gifts to convey our sense of significance from one to another.  This week I received a bouquet of beautiful and festive flowers from someone whom I do not know well and who should have no reason to send me a gift; I was truly touched.

Hospitality – In spite of the trial for introverts (yes, I am one), Christmas is a time when people invite each other to their homes and celebrate. It is an important exchange of warmth and friendship, re-enacting the importance of mutuality and relationships.

Christmas cards/family letters – I am still excited about getting Christmas cards and family newsletters from those who are far away.  I get involved with the stories of pain and joy from our friends and in sharing their stories our friendships and relationships are kept alive.  When I was 17, I was loved by an American couple whose daughter I worked with in Washington D.C.  I am now 57 and “Pop and Mom” Brigham still send me their newsletter to let me know how they are coping in their old age in Arizona.  Every time I get their news, I count my blessings for the role they have played in my life.

Positive rituals – There are many rituals in our family, but two stand out – stockings, and the Christmas Eve gathering.  Something started as a surprise for our two daughters when they were toddlers is being held tightly by them even though they are now 24 and 15.  So, gathering onto the bed to open stockings on Christmas morning is still an important ritual for us.  

Twelve years ago, we started inviting a couple of families whose children went to school with ours for Christmas eve – little did we know this gathering would become a ritual for these families. It is so institutionalized that even one year when I broke my leg, I had friends who decided to push me through the supermarket to purchase food, friends who came and prepared the food, and friends who came to set up – because the ritual is so important to us – the community.   

So what can OD practitioners learn from Christmas?

I guess something simple but profound –

Gifts (services) – What are our gifts to the people, team and organisation that we work with and for? I know they pay us for our service, but what do we give them beyond our skills and tools?  What is our attitude towards service above and beyond what they pay for?  What is that extra human touch that we bring to those with whom we work?  Or have we ever thought about their gifts to us when they ask us to support them in projects?

Hospitality (connection) – There has been a lot written about boundary maintenance and role clarity in our practice.  These are all very important and indeed, for some of us, they are the stretch area for our development.  But having kept that in mind, we also need to work with the fact that we are in a helping profession, in which affirmative relationships are an important platform to launch the help.  So how do we demonstrate warmth and cultivate positive relationships?   How much do we also share about ourselves that helps to re-enact a sense of mutuality with them without messing up the boundary issues?

Christmas card and family newsletter (communication)  –   This is about keeping an important link with those who matter to us.  When we work with people, it is important to drop them a card, an e-mail, a message to let them know they and their welfare matter to us.  I have found myself getting into a habit of jotting down the news shared with me and make sure I follow up later on with them about how these events and situation turn out – often the inquiry are met with delight as someone remembered what they shared. Keeping in touch and conveying significance to them are important gestures to build effective partnerships.

Positive rituals – I think rituals are so important to us as human beings. I often look for the positive rituals in those organisations I work with (many have them but they do not realise) and/or help them create some so that they can have a way to mark the significance of finishing a task, winning a contract, meeting an impossible deadline, successfully living out their desired value, etc.  Sometimes, I purposely plan a visit or meeting at a time when I know it’s the right time to mark a key milestone so that they have an external eyewitness for their positive rituals.

So…….I may have stretched this “CHRISTMAS” lesson a bit too much, but what I want to convey is that Christmas reveals to us some of the basic needs of human beings (us included) – to be loved, to be recognised, to be significant, to be affirmed, to be the recipient of warm interaction, to live large, and to be generous, etc.  To be effective practitioners, we need not just to understand how these needs play out in human organisation, but to become more committed to help organisations to grow a culture that will convey the connectivity that most people crave. Knowing that, I guess we can all do better in taking the positive aspects of Christmas into the world of work.  

Have a great festive season, no matter what your religious faith.  

May 2010 bring new opportunities, growth, joy and peace.    Mee-Yan